Barack Hussein Obama, not feeling well, and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult with a psychic about the date of his death. 

Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future, she finds the answer. 

“You will die on a Jewish holiday,” she says confidently.


“Which one?” Obama asks anxiously.


“It doesn’t really matter, you know?” replied the psychic. “Whenever you die, it will be a Jewish holiday!”