Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works; Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's. You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen Aug. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also on Sept.1-, 4-, and the8. Twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely again, this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores. Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart. So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)
In the year 2012, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in America, and said:
"Once again the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing, along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I start the forty day forty night rain." Six months later the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "NOAH", He roared, "I’m about to start the rain. Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord" begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a Building Permit. I've been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood by-laws by constructing in my back yard and exceeding the height limits. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.
"Then the local Council and the Electric Company demanded a huge cash payment for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea... I told them the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.
"I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the Owls, but no go. When I started to gather the animals the ASPCA took me to court. The insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will; they said the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in such a confined space.. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they conducted an environmental impact study on your planned flood.
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my construction crew. And the Immigration people are checking the visa status of most of those who are willing to work, the trade unions say I can't hire my sons - they insist I have to hire only union members with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
"So forgive me, Lord. It would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine brightly, and a beautiful rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?" "No", said the Lord. The government beat me to it."
