Humor

Bob Cash · Bob Cash

stockman · stockman

Checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked u...

stockman · stockman

Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go...

Senior Crusader · Senior Crusader

Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, the car hits it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving." So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old. &q...

Lupus · Lupus

When you recieve the "Alternative's" unwanted mailings, return them in their postage paid envelopes and thus supporting your local post office.

FOTH · FOTH

Have you see the proposal by the Democrat Party replace the old and out of model Declaration of Independence, with which we are all familiar, with a new and relevant Declaration of Inter-dependence? Enjoy. Declaration of Inter-Dependence We hold these truths to be relative to the values of society...

Senior Crusader · Senior Crusader

Older Men Scam!! Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Co...

Senior Crusader · Senior Crusader

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.We agree…and think 25 to life would beappropriate.–Jay Leno .America needs Obama-care like NancyPelosi needs a Halloween mask.–Jay Leno .Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’new Obama Value Meal?A: Order anything you like and the guy behind youhas t...

stockman · stockman

A wife is dreaming in bed, she suddenly wakes and shouts, "Quick my husband is home!" Her husband wakes and jumps out the window!!

Old Eagle · Old Eagle

STC (Senior Texting Codes) Since more and more senior citizens are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for senior discounts, these are the codes for you: ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring You...

stockman · stockman

A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brain...

stockman · stockman

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million...

starbrite · starbrite

Marriage is like playing cards, it starts out with two hearts and a diamond and ends with a club and a spade.

Pebo · Pebo

In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel company? 2. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the New York stock Exchange? 4. Greatest wheat speculator? 5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6. Great Bear of Wall Street? These men were considered some of t...

Old Eagle · Old Eagle

stockman · stockman

Only in America...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.2. Only in America...... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.3. Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy peo...

stockman · stockman

Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. *The first surgeon said "electricians everything is color coded." *The second surgeon said "no I think librarians, everything inside them is in alphabetical order." *The third surgeon shut them up wh...

stockman · stockman

WOW, we're rich! Silver In The Hair Gold In The Teeth Crystals In The Kidneys Sugar In The Blood Lead In The Ass Iron In The Arteries Plus An Inexhaustible Supply Of Natural Gas. I Never Thought we would Accumulate Such Wealth!Life is short. Live it to the fullest. It has an expiration date.

Old Eagle · Old Eagle

What retirees do for fun Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking tic...

stockman · stockman

A woman answered the front door to find a workman standing on the porch and carrying a box of tools. "I'm the piano tuner ma'am" he announced. "But I didn't send for a piano tuner." "I know, but the neighbors did!"

stockman · stockman

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels . After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, t...

stockman · stockman

I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck Go figure it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. I returned to the dealer yesterday Because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated. 'Nelson,' the technician said to the radio. The radio r...

stockman · stockman

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it ou...

Old Eagle · Old Eagle

Actual Senior Bumper Stickers 1. YOUNG AT HEART Slightly older in other places. 2. I’M SPEEDING BECAUSE I have to get there before I forget where I’m going. 3. I DON’T EXERCISE It makes my coffee spill. 4. I’M RETIRED I was tired yesterday. I’m tired again today...

Old Eagle · Old Eagle

SENIOR DRESS CODE Many of us 'Old ones' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling 'young' , we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image. Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the followin...

stockman · stockman

Thank you for starting this area. I look forward to others posting some funny stuff.

Tom · Tom

Did you know that when they found Custer, he was wearing an Arrow shirt?

Old Eagle · Old Eagle

Senior Shopper There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did as she had instructed. When the hysterical s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Reagan Humor (Preview)	Bob Cash	0	1085	Jul 8, 2013 by Bob Cash
	A True Blond (Preview) Checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked u...	stockman	2	1338	Apr 17, 2013 by stockman
	The Diaries (Preview) Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go...	stockman	0	770	Mar 21, 2013 by stockman
	DEATH OF THE OLD COW. (Preview) Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, the car hits it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving." So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old. &q...	Senior Crusader	1	812	Mar 20, 2013 by stockman
	Educate the 'Alternative" group (Preview) When you recieve the "Alternative's" unwanted mailings, return them in their postage paid envelopes and thus supporting your local post office.	Lupus	1	896	Mar 11, 2013 by stockman
	The Declaration of Inter-dependence (Preview) Have you see the proposal by the Democrat Party replace the old and out of model Declaration of Independence, with which we are all familiar, with a new and relevant Declaration of Inter-dependence? Enjoy. Declaration of Inter-Dependence We hold these truths to be relative to the values of society...	FOTH	3	588	Mar 9, 2013 by stockman
	Older Men Scam!! Be on the lookout for this?? (Preview) Older Men Scam!! Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Co...	Senior Crusader	1	649	Feb 12, 2013 by SteveT
	You know the honeymoon is over,when the comedians start. (Preview) The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.We agree…and think 25 to life would beappropriate.–Jay Leno .America needs Obama-care like NancyPelosi needs a Halloween mask.–Jay Leno .Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s’new Obama Value Meal?A: Order anything you like and the guy behind youhas t...	Senior Crusader	0	989	Dec 20, 2012 by Senior Crusader
	Who's Guilty Here? (Preview) A wife is dreaming in bed, she suddenly wakes and shouts, "Quick my husband is home!" Her husband wakes and jumps out the window!!	stockman	0	849	Nov 16, 2012 by stockman
	Senior Texting Codes (Preview) STC (Senior Texting Codes) Since more and more senior citizens are texting and tweeting, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for senior discounts, these are the codes for you: ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring You...	Old Eagle	0	676	Nov 7, 2012 by Old Eagle
	The Lawyers Brain (Preview) A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brain...	stockman	0	663	Oct 26, 2012 by stockman
	The Phone Call (Preview) George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million...	stockman	0	610	Oct 21, 2012 by stockman
	Marriage (Preview) Marriage is like playing cards, it starts out with two hearts and a diamond and ends with a club and a spade.	starbrite	0	626	Oct 20, 2012 by starbrite
	1n 1923, who was: (Preview) *In 1923, Who Was:* 1. President of the largest steel company? 2. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the New York stock Exchange? 4. Greatest wheat speculator? 5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6. Great Bear of Wall Street? *These men were considered some of t...*	Pebo	0	781	Oct 12, 2012 by Pebo
	Senior Discounts...LOL (Preview)	Old Eagle	0	746	Oct 9, 2012 by Old Eagle
	" Only in America (Preview) Only in America...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.2. Only in America...... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.3. Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy peo...	stockman	0	601	Sep 29, 2012 by stockman
	The Three Surgeons (Preview) Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon said "electricians everything is color coded." The second surgeon said "no I think librarians, everything inside them is in alphabetical order." *The third surgeon shut them up wh...	stockman	1	750	Sep 21, 2012 by Tom
	We've Finally Made It (Preview) *WOW, we're rich!* *Silver In The Hair* *Gold In The Teeth* *Crystals* *In The Kidneys* *Sugar In The Blood* *Lead In The Ass* *Iron In The Arteries* *Plus An Inexhaustible Supply Of Natural Gas.* I Never Thought we would Accumulate Such Wealth!Life is short. Live it to the fullest. It has an expiration date.	stockman	0	705	Sep 18, 2012 by stockman
	What retirees do for fun (Preview) What retirees do for fun Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking tic...	Old Eagle	0	911	Sep 18, 2012 by Old Eagle
	The Piano Tuner (Preview) A woman answered the front door to find a workman standing on the porch and carrying a box of tools. "I'm the piano tuner ma'am" he announced. "But I didn't send for a piano tuner." "I know, but the neighbors did!"	stockman	1	776	Sep 17, 2012 by Tom
	The Blind Cowboy (Preview) An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels . After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, t...	stockman	0	589	Sep 17, 2012 by stockman
	My New Ford Truck (Preview) I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck Go figure it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. I returned to the dealer yesterday Because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated. 'Nelson,' the technician said to the radio. The radio r...	stockman	0	542	Sep 16, 2012 by stockman
	The Restaurant Incident (Preview) A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it ou...	stockman	0	646	Sep 15, 2012 by stockman
	Senior Bumber Stickers (Preview) Actual Senior Bumper Stickers 1. YOUNG AT HEART Slightly older in other places. 2. I’M SPEEDING BECAUSE I have to get there before I forget where I’m going. 3. I DON’T EXERCISE It makes my coffee spill. 4. I’M RETIRED I was tired yesterday. I’m tired again today...	Old Eagle	0	819	Sep 13, 2012 by Old Eagle
	Senior Dress Code (Preview) SENIOR DRESS CODE Many of us 'Old ones' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling 'young' , we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image. Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the followin...	Old Eagle	0	759	Sep 8, 2012 by Old Eagle
	Forum Humor Area (Preview) Thank you for starting this area. I look forward to others posting some funny stuff.	stockman	1	1982	Sep 6, 2012 by Dan L
	Info for your next ****tail party (Preview) Did you know that when they found Custer, he was wearing an Arrow shirt?	Tom	0	701	Sep 6, 2012 by Tom
	Senior Shopper (Preview) Senior Shopper There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did as she had instructed. When the hysterical s...	Old Eagle	0	676	Sep 5, 2012 by Old Eagle
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